Protecting Obesity

We have all met people who have been disfigured by accident or disease or the cruel randomness of birth deformities. Someplace in our souls we quietly sigh, knowing that but for the grace of God we could be enduring the same scourge.

So in terms of those who have no choice, it seems the conscious and deliberate disfigurement or crippling of the human body is especially despicable. Obese people are at the top of this list. It’s a slap in the face to those who have no alternative, but to bear their fate throughout life.

Obesity is a crime against all citizens. The price tag for this epidemic, measured in job productivity and medical expenses, is about $45 billion annually. Every American consumer is tagged with this cost. The financial burden is hidden in medical insurance premiums, higher taxes and the cost of purchased goods and services.

Forget political correctness. The environmentalists should be up in arms over obesity. How many additional millions of gallons of fuel are required, and how many extra tons of toxic emissions are spewed into the air to transport the obese in private vehicles? The number must be staggering.

If the airlines can charge passengers for exceeding luggage weight limitations, why can’t they add a fuel surcharge for obese flyers to compensate the other passengers for the infringement on the already meager space they are assigned?

It’s difficult to feel anything other than revulsion when a five foot tall mammoth blocks the view of a food court, or waddles away from a donut counter with a fist full of sugar coated dough stuffed with jelly.

We are told that these eaters are hapless victims of discrimination. They claim companies don’t want to hire them. They complain that their co-workers and neighbors openly display disgust when they trolley by. These are natural reactions, not hate crimes.

Compassion is not a right; it’s induced by circumstances. Does your blood run cold when you see an obese parent holding the hand of an equally obese child?

They know that they are setting up their children to be targets of ridicule, shunning and self-loathing. They place their children in the intolerable position of being dependent on someone whose proximity some day will be an embarrassment. So where is their compassion?

About 98% of the grossly overweight eat too much and too often. It’s about personal choice and personal responsibility. They have no right to expect merciful understanding for a self-inflicted condition. And why should others be forced to respect them when they don’t respect themselves?

Political correctness be damned. The obese are an affront to the senses. The sight of unrestricted protoplasm floating in spandex garments is beyond revolting. Maybe if the obese saw themselves in the eyes of others they would reduce their food intake.

Granted, the caustic comments aren’t charitable. My apologies for the rudeness. But masking contempt behind political correctness and feeble excuses only enables the sordid behavior. Let the truth be told.

Government to the Rescue

It’s reassuring to know that the bureaucrats in our federal government are vigilant 24/7. Nothing gets by them. Their sense of duty and attention to detail is inspiring. The whole world must sit in awe as they watch these crack troops root out evil.

Just when you thought it was safe to venture out to buy Christmas presents, Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson, the U.S. Surgeon General of the United States, warned the public of a new danger—Santa Clause’s waistline.

He declared Santa Clause’s rotund shape makes him a bad role model for children. So keep your kids away from the malls, turn off your televisions and pray your children don’t get a glimpse of Saint Nick.

Who knew this symbol of parents’ love for their children, and kindness and generosity and sharing good will was setting a dangerous example? We should be thankful that this diabolical plot was exposed before our children were corrupted by a few moments of thoughtfulness.

And don’t get caught putting out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve. The PC police will be watching for any infractions.

Donna Rheaume, spokesperson for the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, recommends that children leave Santa “a nice apple or carrot and celery sticks.” How wonderful . . . . If reincarnation is possible, maybe Donna will get a life in the next round.

This spring we can expect the U.S. Attorney General to put the Easter Bunny on the FBI’s Most Wanted List for stealing eggs and putting candy in baskets. Anyone caught pandering to America’s sweet tooth should be reviled as pro-obesity.

Let’s hope there are stiff fines and jail sentences for such loathsome behavior. Certainly, bunny prisons are in order. Let’s get these candy scofflaws off the streets.

And beware of Thanksgiving. This celebration of the nation’s harvest condones eating desserts after a large meal. Certainly no one should be allowed to participate in such reckless behavior without a membership in a health club. And if the Surgeon General is serious about his mission to protect us, attendance should be verified.

Let’s be honest. It’s out of control. On Valentine’s Day, lovers give gifts of chocolate, and people drink beer on the Fourth of July. It’s a national disgrace.

So it makes us proud that the Surgeon General is all over this problem. Well . . . maybe not. But it does shed light on America’s sense of fair play. Having a measurable IQ is not a requirement for government bureaucrats. How Democratic of us.